Friday, August 13, 2010

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?? IS ANYONE???

The following questions were set in last year's (2009) GED examinations across the United States. These are GENUINE answers (from 16 year olds.) and they will someday BREED!!!
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Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar...

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists...

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire...

Q. What causes the tides in the ocean?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forgot where the sun joins the fight...

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed...

Q. In a democrati c society how important are elections?
A. Very important! Sex can only happen when the male gets an election...

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs... Shoot yourself now theres little hope!

Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old so do your bowels, and you get intercontinental...

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery...

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death...

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow...

Q. How can you delay milk from turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow... (simple, but quite brilliant)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie...

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby...

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing condominium...

Q. Give the meaning of 'Caesarean section.'
A. The Caesarean section is a district in Rome...

Q. What is terminal illiness?
A. When you are sick at the airport...

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor... (Yeah likeJulius Seizure, he came, he saw, he had a fit!)

Q. Give an example of fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and look like umbrellas...

Q. What does the word benign mean?
A. Benigh is what you will be after you are eight...

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U...

Q. User the word 'judicious' in a sentence th show you understand the meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face... (OMG!!!)

Last but certainly not least........

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head...

These are pretty funny until you realize they are NOT jokes and these are someones stupid kids. They are either going to college (WHAT???) or will be flipping burgers and trying to make change for a dollar.... Very Scary!

2 comments:

  1. The answers these kids gave are so out in the ozone layer, it's hard to believe they were serious. At least I hope some of 'em were joking. If not, we're in big trouble, as far as
    anyone competent running the country.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The TERMINAL ILLNESS is spot on. Have you flown lately? Good ones, Chats. Keep um coming!

    ReplyDelete