SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE

Feeling fiesty today so I decided to be a bit on the naughty side, we all know we are naughty sometimes but MOST just won't admit it. No one is watching now so go ahead "have a good laugh!" This is so far my longest post ever, humm!!!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee? The same as a Quickie but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley & a Hoover? The position of the Dirtbag.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you ain't gettin any.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.

Whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 45 pounds.

Whats the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 45 minutes.

Whats the fastest way to a cheating man's heart? Through is chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry Virgins? Cause they can' stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking? Cause those men already have boyfriends.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? MACE will do that to you.

Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it hard to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when the doctor said she was pregnant? Are you sure it's mine.
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Okay take a rest, I have a few more but have to go to church now. I will post the other few next Friday with something serious, if I can find something serious. But to leave you laughing I have one more for you today. . .

A northern fairytale begins with "Once Upon a Time." A southern fairytale begins with " Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit!!!"

Well believe it, and have a wonderful weekend. . .