I started this LIST in July and then got busy with other topics, sorry, so here are the best of rest...
13.) To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag then add the flowers. Shake vigorously and the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt leaving your artificial flowers looking like new. Works like a charm!!!
14.) To easliy remove brunt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover the bottom of the pan, then bring to a boil on stovetop.
15.) Spray your plasticware, like Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato sauces and there won't be any stain.
16.) When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of dry cake mix instead and there won't be any tasteless white mess on the outside of the cake.
17.) Wrap celery in aluminun foil before putting in refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
18.) When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corns natural sweetness.
19.) Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze it into cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
20.) Cure for a headache. Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
21.) To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area. You will experience instant relief.
22.) Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march and see for yourself.
23.) When you get a splinter reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, press, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
24.) Use air freshners to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better yet leaves a lovely aroma behind with the shine.
25.) Now just look what you can do with inexpensive ALKA SELTZER TABLETS. . .
* To clean a toilet drop in two alka seltzer tablets, wait 20 minutes, brush and flush.
* To Clean a glass vase or cruet, and remove the stain from the bottom fill with water and add two tablets, wait 20 minutes, shake and wipe clean.
* To polish jewelry, put two tablets into a glass or bowl of water. Immerse the jewelry for two minutes, remove jewelry, rinse, and wipe dry with soft cloth.
* Clean an old thermos bottle by filling it with water then drop in four (4) tablets and soak for one hour. If necessary.
* To unclog a drain, clear the sink clean by dropping three (3) tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes then run the hot water.
Do your friends a favor by passing along this list of inexpensive and safe tips to make life easier . . . Have a wonderful weekend!!!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?? IS ANYONE???
The following questions were set in last year's (2009) GED examinations across the United States. These are GENUINE answers (from 16 year olds.) and they will someday BREED!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar...
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists...
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire...
Q. What causes the tides in the ocean?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forgot where the sun joins the fight...
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed...
Q. In a democrati c society how important are elections?
A. Very important! Sex can only happen when the male gets an election...
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs... Shoot yourself now theres little hope!
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old so do your bowels, and you get intercontinental...
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery...
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death...
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow...
Q. How can you delay milk from turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow... (simple, but quite brilliant)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie...
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby...
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing condominium...
Q. Give the meaning of 'Caesarean section.'
A. The Caesarean section is a district in Rome...
Q. What is terminal illiness?
A. When you are sick at the airport...
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor... (Yeah likeJulius Seizure, he came, he saw, he had a fit!)
Q. Give an example of fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and look like umbrellas...
Q. What does the word benign mean?
A. Benigh is what you will be after you are eight...
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U...
Q. User the word 'judicious' in a sentence th show you understand the meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face... (OMG!!!)
Last but certainly not least........
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head...
These are pretty funny until you realize they are NOT jokes and these are someones stupid kids. They are either going to college (WHAT???) or will be flipping burgers and trying to make change for a dollar.... Very Scary!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar...
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists...
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire...
Q. What causes the tides in the ocean?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forgot where the sun joins the fight...
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed...
Q. In a democrati c society how important are elections?
A. Very important! Sex can only happen when the male gets an election...
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs... Shoot yourself now theres little hope!
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old so do your bowels, and you get intercontinental...
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery...
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death...
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow...
Q. How can you delay milk from turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow... (simple, but quite brilliant)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie...
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby...
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing condominium...
Q. Give the meaning of 'Caesarean section.'
A. The Caesarean section is a district in Rome...
Q. What is terminal illiness?
A. When you are sick at the airport...
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor... (Yeah likeJulius Seizure, he came, he saw, he had a fit!)
Q. Give an example of fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and look like umbrellas...
Q. What does the word benign mean?
A. Benigh is what you will be after you are eight...
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U...
Q. User the word 'judicious' in a sentence th show you understand the meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face... (OMG!!!)
Last but certainly not least........
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head...
These are pretty funny until you realize they are NOT jokes and these are someones stupid kids. They are either going to college (WHAT???) or will be flipping burgers and trying to make change for a dollar.... Very Scary!
Friday, August 6, 2010
The WORST kind of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
I attended a church function recently and the topic turned to Domestic Violence as it is on the rise. Several members of our congregation are in Law Enforcement and they are witnessing the rise first hand. I also volunteer in a Woman's Shelter that is quite large and unfortunately it has become overcrowded for the very first time.
The conversation and beliefs among the group is that the economy and fear of job loss, home loss and those who are unemployed and have already experienced these losses are afraid this will become the norm and we are heading for another great depression.
These thoughts and experiences cause terror in the hearts of men who are usually good providers, it also unfortunately causes more violence in those who are subject to rages. It also causes bad decisions when women fear being all alone and unable to care for their children and sometimes due to that fear causes them to invite the wrong men into their homes...
That reminded me of a poem I had published sometime ago and decided maybe this would be a good time to post it for all to see and hopefully think seriously about.
The poem is called:
FOOTSTEPS IN THE DARK
Mommy says, angel it's time for bed,
Put on your nightgown and lay down your head.
I'll finish these dishes and come tuck you in,
I'll read you the story of The Fishes Pink Fins.
I ran up to my bedroom where my dollies live,
Put on my nighty and to each a hug I did give.
I hear mommy coming to say her goodnight,
After she reads me a story she'll turn out my light.
I shudder to think I'll be left all alone,
I wish I were a little frog that could hide under a stone.
I her mommy and her boyfriend talking real loud,
I hope they aren't fighting again about "three's a crowd."
Finally it's quiet, they must be asleep,
I've been a very good girl, never uttered a peep.
That's when I hear his footsteps in the dark,
he enters my room and on my bed he does park.
He tells me to be quiet, that I'm his little dove,
I feel his hands on my body, he says he's showing love.
I remember to this day, the pain and that sensation,
My childhood stolen with that feeling of degration.
The offensive behavior went on for years,
Until finally at eighteen, I left home in tears.
Why didn't she save me, instead of turn a blind eye?
I will never forget or forgive her; until the day I die.
The conversation and beliefs among the group is that the economy and fear of job loss, home loss and those who are unemployed and have already experienced these losses are afraid this will become the norm and we are heading for another great depression.
These thoughts and experiences cause terror in the hearts of men who are usually good providers, it also unfortunately causes more violence in those who are subject to rages. It also causes bad decisions when women fear being all alone and unable to care for their children and sometimes due to that fear causes them to invite the wrong men into their homes...
That reminded me of a poem I had published sometime ago and decided maybe this would be a good time to post it for all to see and hopefully think seriously about.
The poem is called:
FOOTSTEPS IN THE DARK
Mommy says, angel it's time for bed,
Put on your nightgown and lay down your head.
I'll finish these dishes and come tuck you in,
I'll read you the story of The Fishes Pink Fins.
I ran up to my bedroom where my dollies live,
Put on my nighty and to each a hug I did give.
I hear mommy coming to say her goodnight,
After she reads me a story she'll turn out my light.
I shudder to think I'll be left all alone,
I wish I were a little frog that could hide under a stone.
I her mommy and her boyfriend talking real loud,
I hope they aren't fighting again about "three's a crowd."
Finally it's quiet, they must be asleep,
I've been a very good girl, never uttered a peep.
That's when I hear his footsteps in the dark,
he enters my room and on my bed he does park.
He tells me to be quiet, that I'm his little dove,
I feel his hands on my body, he says he's showing love.
I remember to this day, the pain and that sensation,
My childhood stolen with that feeling of degration.
The offensive behavior went on for years,
Until finally at eighteen, I left home in tears.
Why didn't she save me, instead of turn a blind eye?
I will never forget or forgive her; until the day I die.
Friday, July 30, 2010
APPRECIATE AND DO GOOD WORKS
SUPPORT YOUR UNITED STATES SERVICE MEN AND WOMEN
Did you know the military no longer accepts "Any Service Member"mail? That stinks, but there is no reason you can't do your part to help our country's armed forces. There are many reputable organizations ready and willing with the goal of providing a morale boost to our military.
When your in your home surrounded by those you love, when you are soaking in a refreshing sweet smelling, relaxing bubble bath, or eating whatever your heart desires at the moment and going to your bedroom at night for a safe, comfortable nights sleep, think about those trying to get a moments shut eye in a war torn country hoping no mortar falls during the night or no one sneaks in to cut their throats. They have no bubble bath, they're lucky to have clean water at all, they are fortunate to be able to heat their rations before eating them, and they taste nasty at best. So next time you're enjoying all the comforts that these fighting men and women over there are safeguarding for America remember them.
Below is a list of services provided by caring organizations and if these aren't enough you can go to this email address for even more to choose from. www.Army.mil/howyoucanhelp.
HERO MILES:
Donate frequent flier miles to military men and women who are undergoing treatment at a military or VA medical center due to injury sustained in Iraq or Afghanista. Learn more at http://www.fisherhouse.org/.
TAPS:
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors provides comfort to anyone who has lost a military loved one, through comprehensive programs including crisis intrervention and peer-based emotional support. Visit: http://www.taps.org/.
HOMES FOR OUR TROOPS:
This nonprofit organization builds or renovates homes for severly wounded military members, free of charge and with special modifications as needed for particular disabilities.
Visit: http://www.homesforourtroops.org/.
GIFT CARDS FOR TROOPS. . . My personal favorite!
The Army and Air Force Exchange Service (AAFES) provides merchandise and services to militaty famailes and uses earnings to supplement Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) programs. Service members can buy anything with gift cards from baby clothes to Energy Star appliances with gift cards purchased through AAFES. Learn more at: http://www.aafes.com/
It sounds like they get lots of freebies doesn't it? Well think about what they have given up and sacrificed for us, for our freedoms. There is not enough in this world to compensate these brave men and women and their immediate families. PLease help, no amount is too small especially just sending letters and cards to let them know we appreciate their sacrifices.
GOD BLESS OUR MILITARY and GOD BLESS AMERICA.
Did you know the military no longer accepts "Any Service Member"mail? That stinks, but there is no reason you can't do your part to help our country's armed forces. There are many reputable organizations ready and willing with the goal of providing a morale boost to our military.
When your in your home surrounded by those you love, when you are soaking in a refreshing sweet smelling, relaxing bubble bath, or eating whatever your heart desires at the moment and going to your bedroom at night for a safe, comfortable nights sleep, think about those trying to get a moments shut eye in a war torn country hoping no mortar falls during the night or no one sneaks in to cut their throats. They have no bubble bath, they're lucky to have clean water at all, they are fortunate to be able to heat their rations before eating them, and they taste nasty at best. So next time you're enjoying all the comforts that these fighting men and women over there are safeguarding for America remember them.
Below is a list of services provided by caring organizations and if these aren't enough you can go to this email address for even more to choose from. www.Army.mil/howyoucanhelp.
HERO MILES:
Donate frequent flier miles to military men and women who are undergoing treatment at a military or VA medical center due to injury sustained in Iraq or Afghanista. Learn more at http://www.fisherhouse.org/.
TAPS:
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors provides comfort to anyone who has lost a military loved one, through comprehensive programs including crisis intrervention and peer-based emotional support. Visit: http://www.taps.org/.
HOMES FOR OUR TROOPS:
This nonprofit organization builds or renovates homes for severly wounded military members, free of charge and with special modifications as needed for particular disabilities.
Visit: http://www.homesforourtroops.org/.
GIFT CARDS FOR TROOPS. . . My personal favorite!
The Army and Air Force Exchange Service (AAFES) provides merchandise and services to militaty famailes and uses earnings to supplement Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) programs. Service members can buy anything with gift cards from baby clothes to Energy Star appliances with gift cards purchased through AAFES. Learn more at: http://www.aafes.com/
It sounds like they get lots of freebies doesn't it? Well think about what they have given up and sacrificed for us, for our freedoms. There is not enough in this world to compensate these brave men and women and their immediate families. PLease help, no amount is too small especially just sending letters and cards to let them know we appreciate their sacrifices.
GOD BLESS OUR MILITARY and GOD BLESS AMERICA.
Friday, July 23, 2010
25 SENSIBLE TIPS TO LIVE BY...
This is a list I have compiled over the years to make lifes chores easier. It's for women, or men keeping up their end at home... I've listed 12 today and will list the rest another Friday.
1.) Flies or bee's bothering you? Spray them with hair spray and watch them take a quick dive.
2.) Sealed envelope? Put it into the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can even be resealed if your snooping. Hummm!
3.) Use an empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance the cord within belongs to.
4.) For icy doorsteps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They absolutely won't freeze. Then in warmer weather add some water and wash the steps clean.
5.) Crayon marks on walls? Anyone with kids knows what a mess that can be! This works wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in Baking Soda. Crayon comes off with little effort.
6.) Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) Simply use rubbing alcohol on a paper towel.
7.) Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S. pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally figured out how to be more economical. Now a box of S.O.S. pads last me indefinitely. An unexpected plus I noticed is that the scissors get sharpened this way as well.
8.) Opening brand new jars can be a real pain in the drain, well, I found the answer. Instead of banging the jar of jam, pickles etc., with a knife until it loosens up, I simply reach into the drawer and pull out my handy dandy nutcracker. It adjusts to the size of the jar and I simply give it a good twist and off pops the lid.
9.) Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little peroxide on a clean cloth and proceed to wipe off all the blood. Works every time, then toss cloth in washer to get it clean too.
10.) Dirty windows, well then use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal on inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean, but don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and streak terribly.
11.) Spray a bit of perfume on a lightbulb in any room to create a lovely scent in each room when the light is turned on. Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. Especially effective on lingerie. You can also do this with towels and linens.
Last for todays tips but not least, 13 more to come another Friday...
12.) Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.
I hope these tips will help make your life easier and lot less stressful.
1.) Flies or bee's bothering you? Spray them with hair spray and watch them take a quick dive.
2.) Sealed envelope? Put it into the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can even be resealed if your snooping. Hummm!
3.) Use an empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance the cord within belongs to.
4.) For icy doorsteps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They absolutely won't freeze. Then in warmer weather add some water and wash the steps clean.
5.) Crayon marks on walls? Anyone with kids knows what a mess that can be! This works wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in Baking Soda. Crayon comes off with little effort.
6.) Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) Simply use rubbing alcohol on a paper towel.
7.) Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S. pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally figured out how to be more economical. Now a box of S.O.S. pads last me indefinitely. An unexpected plus I noticed is that the scissors get sharpened this way as well.
8.) Opening brand new jars can be a real pain in the drain, well, I found the answer. Instead of banging the jar of jam, pickles etc., with a knife until it loosens up, I simply reach into the drawer and pull out my handy dandy nutcracker. It adjusts to the size of the jar and I simply give it a good twist and off pops the lid.
9.) Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little peroxide on a clean cloth and proceed to wipe off all the blood. Works every time, then toss cloth in washer to get it clean too.
10.) Dirty windows, well then use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal on inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean, but don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and streak terribly.
11.) Spray a bit of perfume on a lightbulb in any room to create a lovely scent in each room when the light is turned on. Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. Especially effective on lingerie. You can also do this with towels and linens.
Last for todays tips but not least, 13 more to come another Friday...
12.) Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.
I hope these tips will help make your life easier and lot less stressful.
Friday, July 16, 2010
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
Feeling fiesty today so I decided to be a bit on the naughty side, we all know we are naughty sometimes but MOST just won't admit it. No one is watching now so go ahead "have a good laugh!" This is so far my longest post ever, humm!!!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee? The same as a Quickie but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley & a Hoover? The position of the Dirtbag.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you ain't gettin any.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
Whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 45 pounds.
Whats the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 45 minutes.
Whats the fastest way to a cheating man's heart? Through is chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry Virgins? Cause they can' stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking? Cause those men already have boyfriends.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? MACE will do that to you.
Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it hard to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when the doctor said she was pregnant? Are you sure it's mine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay take a rest, I have a few more but have to go to church now. I will post the other few next Friday with something serious, if I can find something serious. But to leave you laughing I have one more for you today. . .
A northern fairytale begins with "Once Upon a Time." A southern fairytale begins with " Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit!!!"
Well believe it, and have a wonderful weekend. . .
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee? The same as a Quickie but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley & a Hoover? The position of the Dirtbag.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you ain't gettin any.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
Whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 45 pounds.
Whats the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 45 minutes.
Whats the fastest way to a cheating man's heart? Through is chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry Virgins? Cause they can' stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking? Cause those men already have boyfriends.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? MACE will do that to you.
Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it hard to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when the doctor said she was pregnant? Are you sure it's mine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay take a rest, I have a few more but have to go to church now. I will post the other few next Friday with something serious, if I can find something serious. But to leave you laughing I have one more for you today. . .
A northern fairytale begins with "Once Upon a Time." A southern fairytale begins with " Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit!!!"
Well believe it, and have a wonderful weekend. . .
Thursday, July 8, 2010
ESTROGEN, PREGNANCY & WOMEN
I ask you, who understands Women better than other women?
PREGNANCY Q & A PLUS MORE...
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What us the most reliable method of determining a babys sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My birthing instructor says it isn't pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure, is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out your pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I need to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you learn to change 'his' diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
PREGNANCY Q & A PLUS MORE...
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What us the most reliable method of determining a babys sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My birthing instructor says it isn't pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure, is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out your pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I need to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you learn to change 'his' diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
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